Bob Ross

I don't know how or why, but me and the kid decided we were going to paint along with Bob Ross. I'd never actually watched Bob Ross before more than the stray clip. 

We started out gathering our supplies. I opted for acrylics because Kid hasn't used oil before and I am not ready to go down that road. I pulled out about 5 different as close as I had to the colors he was calling for before declaring "fuck it, go get your watercolor tray. I don't care this much."

We regrouped, on the sofa with watercolors.

Bob already had some shit painted on his canvas so we did that.

boom. done. happy little cliff.

Bob said to add yellow, so we added yellow. The man goes crazy fast and we were not prepared. We paused. A lot.

Happy little cliff and also sunshine?

We had this down. Cliff. Yellows. Addin' in some red. When fuck. fuck. fuck.

Bob wants white. WE'RE USING WATERCOLOR, BOB! DON'T DO THIS.

I suddenly remembered that gelatos work fantastic with watercolor so I went flailing across the room to the tea and art corner and grabbed the box. "Here! These will work!" I exclaim and start manically rubbing white in my sun.

"Is that chapstick?!" The child exclaims having completely accepted that I just had a box of chapsticks I keep under the tea kettle to rub on my art. "Does it work? Why are you using chapstick?"

The chapstick works.

Bob went crazy and started adding some bullshit purple clouds all over. He promised not to do anything without us and flipped over to a clip of his baby squirrels. When he cut back to his painting Bob showed himself to be a fucking liar because he added clouds in all sorts of crazy ass places.

and then a bullshit wave?

I trusted Bob's word and did his happy little rocks and all that, but I wish I had left the cliff alone.

end result. Not bad.

We got cocky and decided we'd do episode two with just gelatos for the kid and watersoluble oil pastel for the me.

Bob started with this.

Tree details, looking promising.

annnnd. nope. nope. nope. no thanks

I think I'll stick to my hands and leave landscapes to the Bob Rosses of the world. My sofa is covered in weird bits of pastel now, it goes nicely with the thinking putty that got mushed in the sofa and the ink stains. until next week...