Canvas

When I was a teen and the only things I had to spend money on were comic books and art supplies, I painted on canvas a lot. I went through this ridiculous abstract phase, not that abstract is inherently bad, but boy-howdy mine sure was. Those masterpieces have since been painted over (save for one that had actual effort put in) and besides that, I just don't work on canvas very much. 

But lately I have had this day dream of the perfect commission. There are these GIANT, taller than me, canvas at my local art store. My dream is that some devastatingly good looking person will commission a life-sized black and white nude portrait of themselves that I can do in oil over a gorgeously splattered rainbow on white acrylic background and they'll pay me like 3 grand plus supplies and I'll be able to afford sushi and perhaps a shelf for my art crap. 

This has, of course, gotten me really excited about the idea of working on canvas, so this week I did a bit because I need to list more art in my etsy. Really, I must. This is for my business. 

Playing it safe on canvas board, I did an actually good abstract in the same technique as last week's blog post because I was a bit gutted about cutting it up. 

Procrastinating a commission, I did a similar style, but without really mixed media-ing the tiles. It's just plain acrylic. Also on canvas board. 

On canvas paper, the commission I was supposed to do. I actually had to clean my desk off entirely for it so I could fit both my easel and laptop on it. I work on and off on canvas paper, but I find really most my art I either do in my sketchbook or on bristol/mixed media board to cut into mail art, unless I have a commission, of course. I rarely really do fine art "just because".

I decided that my easel being out was a good enough reason to do a painting on stretched canvas. Which is always a serious delight to me, as is any chance to paint a topless lady. The canvas was an odd size, 12" x 16", so I decided to work in landscape for once. Originally I wanted to try my hand at a palette knife painting, but I settled for just going a bit more impressionist than usual. And I love it so much. I want to paint a thousand more canvas in this style. I am thinking I desperately need to rope some friends into modeling for me because I'm still digging through my old self portraits from when I did photography and needed to iron out lighting issues for inspiration.

So, those are my canvas of the last week. This coming week is the start of InCoWriMo again, so expect something mail related next post...

Five Minutes at a Time

I wasn't getting anything done. There was plenty of stuff I needed to get done, but sometimes I just have to accept it's not going to happen. This was one of those times.

So I made atc's instead.

For my own amusement, and for this blog post, I set a timer on my phone and took a photo every five minutes. Here's an insight into my masterboard making.

Blank mixed media paper. Messy desk.

Acrylic paint, alcohol ink, blobs of embossed bits. I'd like to pretend I had a plan to start with but nope. And I regretted this all immensely.

Tried to block a few segments for different color schemes. I already knew I was going to cut it up and reassemble so I wanted distinctly different areas. Gelatos were added here.

Pulling together a little more. Looks like one of my first masterboards from 9th grade art class.

Half of getting better seems to be learning when not to quit.

The paint pen dots really make it for me. I use them in a lot of my mixed media.

Cut up into chunks. Tried to make sure each chunk was limited in its color range. Also, my redvine got in shot.

Gluing down. Alternated between wanting to use tacky glue and a glue stick, figured out early on the tacky glue was warping the mixed media board too much. Which is kind of bullshit. I need to work more on canvas since it's the only thing that doesn't seem to warp.

This is surprisingly slow. 

I tried to get a decent balance, but also to remember it was going to be cut up.

Starting on adding the black between chunks. Acrylic paint, palette knife. To minimize the paint on the colorful blocks, I "pipe" the acrylic on using a zip lock bag with a tiny hole in the corner. I still end up with some paint on the blocks, but enough that it looks intentional instead of haphazard.

This process is kinda slow. It'd be faster if the lines were straight, but that wouldn't look as cool, would it?

Finally! My masterboard, just to let it dry to trim down.

At this point I stopped photographing because it took hours for the paint to dry and then literally just cutting it down into 3.5 x 2.5 chunks was not exciting. 

I liked the cards as they were, but decided a little text for focal point couldn't hurt. I sat at my typewriter and pounded out some random phrases. A lot were rehashes of unfinished projects and old poems, hence the series title "Poetic Nonsense & Goddamn Cliches". 

Here they are in sets of 4. I put them up like this on instagram and it was fun to see what got dibs'd for trades first. I'm hoping the rest of them will find homes too, because the last thing I need is to start hoarding my own ATCs again... 

I think I made up for every post I have ever done without pictures in it... yikes. 

Woof.

This is an obligatory announcement post to share that I have launched a Kickstarter Make 100 campaign.

This week's proper blog post is here so you can go ahead and click back if you don't want to read my spiel. No hard feelings.                 
                   

As part of my growth as an artist, both in putting myself out there and in wanting to have the funds to venture off into screen printing (because I have some really cool ideas planned, both t-shit wise, textile wise and even crazy poster wise- not just dogs!) I am taking part in Kickstarter's Make 100.
        
My project is here and I am offering limited edition prints in the shown style (different background colors available) as well as a few slots for custom stenciled artwork. I'll be doing a give-away for my prototype in a few days over on instagram other than that, this is the only chance to get this design.

So if you want to check it out or share it with people who might like it, it's much appreciated. So are good vibes sent my way.                 
             
And thanks to the handful of people who check in here to read my nonsense. I love blogging as a way to document my growth and ideas for myself, and the fact anyone cares enough to check in and read it blows me away, honestly. You guys rock.

2018: Let Go & Thrive

People keep telling me about their word of the year. I admit, I thought it was kind of a cop out the first few times I heard the concept. Like an ambiguous word doesn't really have that much tangible accountability. Mind you, this is coming from someone who schedules eating 3 meals a day into their planner to make sure I don't go flailing off track, so don't take it as me being snobby.

But this year I set a word. Thrive. Which, more specifically, is making efforts to change my mindset from "survive" to "thrive". And the first step to this, because of course I am breaking down a word into steps, is LET GO.

I am endeavoring to let go of my ideas. Especially with my novels. I keep having these dreams of being a ghost and I realized it is because I have been writing in a vacuum, trying to make everything perfect to me, 3 novels worth of perfect, before doing anything with them.

I decided a few nights ago that I am going to focus my work on the main novel, the first one, and leave the other ones in the closet (so to speak) until such time as the first novel is published. If I want a break on the novel, I can start something completely unrelated. But writing a trilogy all at once before sending out any queries on the first one is insane...

But I was doing it because I need to let go of my fears too. I need to let go of my need to be validated. Need to let go of the idea of rejection being a bad thing and embrace that rejections mean you have been trying. And need to accept, that at the end of the day, it is ok to do some projects that are just for me, as long as they are not for me, forever. Because at the end of the day, art and writing exist to be shared, not hoarded.

Horace the Grotesque is actually looking for a forever home, if you really love him. 

Finally, I need to let go of some of my expectations for myself as an artist. I am, at my very core, an eclectic person. My art is eclectic, my writing is eclectic. There is no one style I could stick with and be content. I like to stencil pleasant pop art doggies. I like to make horrible creepy grotesque masks out of paper clay. I like to do painstaking realism paintings in ink. So many artists I follow you can scroll through their instagram feeds and they have a brand, all their content looks pleasingly similar. Mine looks like it was run by about 15 different people. And that's ok, having a "brand" is ok, so is not having one.

I need to let go of that nagging itch to compare myself to other artists.

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"remember that you will die" (and remember that first, you will live.)

Happy 2018, procrastinators.